The boy dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With no little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy and the rock was very large). When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, however, he found that he couldn’t roll it up and over the wall.

Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox.

The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed and shoved. But his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his fingers.

Finally he burst into tears of frustration. All this time the boy’s father watched from his living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy’s father.

Gently but firmly he said, “Son, why didn’t you use all the strength that you had available?”

Defeated, the boy sobbed back, “But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had!”

“No, son,” corrected the father kindly, “you didn’t use all the strength you had. You didn’t ask me for help.”

With that the father reached down, picked up the rock, and removed it from the sandbox.

Coach’s Comment : Are you using ALL of the resources at your disposal. Some of us will struggle against an issue and use all of the tools we have, while still forgetting that there is a simple tool we have not used. That tool is a simple, direct request. When asked to help most people will do so; just make a simple request of a friend, colleague or loved one to help you achieve your goals. Who can you ask to lend a helping hand today?

The German philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe challenged, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

My challenge to each and everyone of you is to take action. In order to achieve the results you want, decisions alone will not make it so. The equation is simple :

Decisions + Actions = Results

This means that daydreaming by iteself won’t get you far. The key to any desire, any idea, any goal is in the action. Those actions can be any size as long as there is movement. The true results come though from climbing boldly towards your goals, sometimes working over a long period to find the most suitable route to success.

Boldness is not blind optimism, it is the combined commitment of thought, spirit and action towards achieving the desired result. American psychologist Dr. Irene Kassorla identified the following steps on how the bold survive, despite difficult situations.

• The more trying the times, the harder you need to try
• Be realistic
• Don’t hold back
• Follow your hunches
• Take one step at a time
• Keep experimenting
• Translate your liabilities into assets

You will not necessarily be successful every time you are bold. In fact, some of the most successful people have had many knock-backs before they achieved their success. The key is don’t give up.

So if you have a desire, an idea or a vision then the single best thing you can do is stop dreaming. It is time to take action.

Believe in yourself, make the plan and take it to the world. It may just be that elusive better mousetrap.

Very few of us ever set out to be a motivation killer, but almost everyone at sometime will have taken action or made a comment that will have extinguished, or flattened, the motivation of another.

Think about the time that a team member went out of their way to do something extra and you commented that wasn’t their job; when a colleague decided to go for that special project and you said it couldn’t be done; when your partner organised a lovely dinner out only to find you were too busy or too tired to bother; or when your child did their best but it wasn’t up to your standard.

These could all be considered small things to you, but to another person it is a big deal. But the idea of motivation is all about how the other person perceived it. If in their mind it was seen as criticism or apathy, then it was definitely a motivation killer.

All of us are pushed in a variety of directions by powerful psychological, cultural and physiological needs. Most of us strive for food, air, shelter, love, mastery, self-acceptance, achievement, etc. These needs usually increase our motivation in positive directions.

On the other hand there are many circumstances that can push us in negative directions, including feelings of inferiority, desires to avoid responsibility or success, lack of self worth, rebellion against pressure situations, etc.

We generally try to increase desired motivations and decrease negative ones, but often are guided by the actions and comments of others.

So what can you do to avoid being a motivation killer?

1. Slow down and gain awareness into what motivated the other person to this action
2. If you must offer criticism, “sandwich” it between to supportive comments.

With just these 2 points you will turn the focus from yourself to the other person, and just that act can be the best motivation you can give.

Many people believe that once a decision has been made on their career path, then they are committed to follow that path come what may. But that is not necessarily so.

Many people are now reinventing their careers and following their passion. One of these was Andy Tuck, a former pianist-philosopher, is now a founding partner of arc (Applied Research and Consulting ), which uses social research to help high-profile people make decisions. “You need to know that you do have a choice in the matter of your career,” he says. “But no one is going to force you to take a risk. You have to make that choice yourself. And sitting in one place and continuing to do something that doesn’t make you happy is a choice too.”

An article from Fast Company in 1999 explains that unfortunately, too many people choose to stay put and stay unhappy. “It’s a variation on the golden-handcuffs phenomenon,” explains Marti Smye, 49, a career consultant based in Toronto and author of “Is It Too Late to Run Away and Join the Circus? A Guide for Your Second Life” ( Macmillan, 1998 ). “When you’re so damn good at what you do, it’s difficult to convince yourself to give it up — even when it’s not making you happy”.

Of those that daydream of making a radical career change, and following their values and their dream, only about 10% actually do it. With fast-growing companies are starved for talent, there has never been a better time than now to make a radical career change. Millions of people are choosing to become free agents and are helping others make that same choice. I made that same choice in moving from a traditional role in the corporate to the role of my dreams as a professional coach.

It is surprising that most career experts report that you shouldn’t worry too much about your skills when considering when and whether to make a radical change. Smart, ambitious people generally find a way to adapt and grow in new environments.

“When you’re trying to reinvent your career, you’re not reinventing your personality,” notes career consultant Marti Smye. “So it’s more important to match your belief systems with your new organization than to make sure your skills are compatible. ”

So when is the best time to re-invent yourself and start following your dreams. If not now, then when ?

What does it take to achieve at a world class level? To even compete requires a focus that is seldom found in other arenas.  From the Wallabies world record holding George Gregan to the new and youngest members like Barrick Barnes, it is more than just a spark that helps them win.

In watching and listening to these individuals, there is a common thread that runs through them all.  It is as simple as three W’s, but it’s by no means easy.

This can be presented as a three part model—Why, What, and Will—and you can harness it to achieve your own success and reach your own goals.

Generally when seeking success or setting goals the what is the W that gets the attention first.  What is it that we want to do?  This can be anything from running a marathon, to achieving a promotion, or having a happy life.  The key to achieving your what is to be able to clearly articulate exactly what is it you want.  The athletes are able to see, hear, feel and smell the experience they are intending to create.  They know in advance how it will BE.  Did you notice the intensity in the World Cup players before each game?  They were rehearsing it in their head.

Even though the what is the thing that we automatically jump to, without a why it will only be a very shallow success, if it achieved at all.  It is my belief that in fact the why should come first.  I have seen the benefits for individuals that understand who they are and why they make the choices they do.  They then link in the appropriate what in order to more fully express the why.

So you know what you want and why you want it, so it there anything left.  Yes.  Will!  This is not willpower but the opposite of won’t.  Will is a choice (just like most other things) and you need consciously make the choice and commitment to see your goal through.  I wonder how far our leaders in sport, business and life would have gotten if they had not had the will to stick with it.

So there you have it!  Why not pick one things that week that you will apply the what, why, will model with.

This behaviour does nothing for your concentration, productivity … or indigestion.

It seems that the speed of technology has also had an effect on the speed in which we attempt to run our lives. It is so fast that activities are running into each other. But as human beings, not computers, our capabilities as “multi-tasking machines” is limited. Research has proven that your memory is considerably reduced by attempting to concentrate on more than one activity or stimulus at a time. Try it yourself—try to memorise a list of numbers or names whilst someone is talking to you about a separate topic.

Trying to be all things to all people at work is not a recipe for career success. On the contrary, continually worrying about schedules and deadlines and multiple projects only makes you rush. And rushing, as you’re bound to find out sooner or later, means more mistakes and lower quality work.

Many people complain that they just don’t have enough hours in the day to meet all the competing demands they face. But the problem is not so much one of time management as one of unrealistic expectations. These people have a bad case of ‘the shoulds’. Their entire focus is on what they should be doing or what they think other people believe they should be doing.

People with ‘busyness disorder’ typically:

• rush
• tackle up to 15 to 20 different projects at once
• work more than 12 hours a day
• work weekends
• can’t say no
• have appalling diets which lead to extremes in body weight

Most don’t even recognise they have a problem. They fail to see the connection between their behaviours and current or potential health problems.

How did we get here?
People plagued with ‘busyness disorder’ basically suffer from the effects of the modern world, with its combination of high technology, materialism and ‘profit at any cost’ mentality.

There is a high focus on achievement gained from external motivators such as salary, car, houses and possessions. But when you rely on external motivators alone you may not reach the happiness you are searching for and keep on striving for the next thing, not knowing that what you are looking for is right in front of you.

The “big picture” focus is a shift to internal motivators such as satisfying values and emotions, gaining a sense of confidence, fulfilment and self worth.

Getting off the merry-go-round
The way to take control of your life and rid yourself of busyness is to say no. There are also techniques such as that developed by US motivational expert Timothy Gallwey, who advises people against knee-jerk reactions to work demands. Gallwey’s STOP technique stands for:

• Step back
• Think
• Organise
• Proceed

The more you try to squeeze multiple activities in the same time/space, the less productive you will be. Some of you will say that this is easier said than done, and I would agree, but there is one straight-forward response that will go a long way toward keeping you focused on what is important, and give you the time to give each activity its full focus. That response is “No” or Not now”.

The bottom line is really about putting your desire for less ‘busyness’ into action. The real key is that you can read as many articles as you like and you can believe in the principles of change but until you take action it is meaningless.

Try this :

• Ask yourself what’s the worse thing that can happen. Let go of the notion you must meet every single expectation and for everything to be perfect.
• Learn to prioritise. Make lists and stick to them.
• Lower your expectations. Accept that you have limitations and learn to live with them.
• Focus on one thing at a time. Learn to value quality rather than quantity.
• Pay attention to your health. Your body could be telling you to slow down.
• Get professional help if ‘busyness’ is threatening your health.

Busy-ness is a direct result of not understanding our own limitations, and the time we have to allocate and is required by each task. Are you looking for success through doing more ? If so then you may find yourself slowing sinking into a position of fatigue, ineffectiveness and frustration.

Recently Lee Wilkinson from Communicate (a New Zealand based communications training consultancy) shared some great tips on Getting Your Share of Air Time in Meetings.

Lee shared tips for both during the meeting and in preparation, including 2 handy tips for getting noticed :

1. Sit where the meeting leader has to see you!
2. Speak up early on in the meeting, so that you register a presence. This doesn’t mean that you have to say something startlingly brilliant. You could just ask a question. Really, just say anything that will start your part in the communication.

Next time you are feeling that you’re not being heard in a meeting give these tips a try.

We all seem to want to go reach that stage of Unconscious Competence, when we won’t have to think about what we are doing and the steps to take each time, so it “just happens”.

Learned tasks can drop out of mind. Can you drive and listen to the radio at the same time? Ever arrived at a destination and not known how you got there? Ever been on a conference call, or at a meeting, where you weren’t actively participating and still you managed to clear out your inbox? Some people would call this multi-tasking, others call it mindlessness.

As we repeat certain tasks over and over, on a regular basic, we get better at it. The individual steps of the task move out of our consciousness. Over time we assume that we can do the task even though we don’t know how to do it (try teaching your kids or someone else how to drive a manual car). Repetition (driving the car, typing, communication style, facial expressions …) can lead to mindlessness in almost any situation, in most organisations, and by the most competent experts.

Try this exercise in rhythm -

Q - What do we call the tree that grows from acorns?
A - Oak

Q - What do we call a funny story?
A - Joke

Q - What sounds does a frog make?
A - Croak

Q - What do we call the white of an egg?
A - Yolk (sic)???

Where is mindlessness effecting your organisations efficiency, safety or bottom line?

In their comprehensive study and report on Competence at Work, Spence and Spencer identified the following generic competency model for managers. These competencies are listed in order of importance (from most to least).

• Impact and Influence
• Achievement Orientation
• Teamwork and Cooperation
• Analytical Thinking
• Initiative
• Developing Others
• Self-Confidence
• Directiveness/Assertiveness
• Information Seeking
• Team Leadership
• Conceptual Thinking

These competencies were in addition to the base requirements of organisational awareness, relationship building and expert/specialised knowledge.

It was shown that the best managers, from front-line through to senior executives, use well socialised impact and influence to improve the functional of the company.

Where would you rate your level of Impact and Influence within your organisation and externally with clients, partners and suppliers?